He posts what it is to mourn the diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. I too struggle with this. My son was only 6 when he was diagnosed. As he grows, he will probably not remember what it was like before diagnosis; free of shots, finger pokes, and all the Dr's appts.
I too, grieve the loss of an innocence part of his childhood stolen. The incredibly painful realization as a mother that one mis-step and bad things can happen; life altering bad things.... After my son's diagnosis last year, I got sick. I mean really sick. I had to go into the hospital twice a day for a week to get IV antibiotics sick. Stress will get you, let me tell you. There is nothing worse, than a mom who can't take a lifelong illness away from her child. Trying to grab more information..., then the horror stories online. What mom who one day ago, put her child to bed with not one care in the world, wants to hear about "dead in bed"!!!??? Not me, not anyone.
Grief, anger, anxiety, incredible sadness all took over, but not nearly as much as my determination. Type 1 diabetes will not win. It may get it's day where type 1 gets the upper hand, but it will not win! It is now one year later, I still grieve a bit every day. I notice when type 1 let's me forget for just a moment. I cry when no one can see and everyone is in bed. I cry when I look at his baby picture and tell him I am sorry honey. I am so so sorry.
This is not the life I wanted for my son, but it is his life. I do my best to not let him see the sadness I feel or the frustration when type 1 sucker punches us down. BUT....we get back up and fight harder. He will learn to manage and take on this beast. He will grow up strong, passionate, and loving.
Each day I am reminded to "Just keep swimming". Thank you Tom. So glad to hear I am not alone.
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